Mrs Metaphor

Whilst travelling along the YouTube tunnel one day I discovered this video by an artist called Mika:

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you like me?
Why don’t you walk out the door!

Now, IS there a metaphor here for us?? Well, possibly I suppose but mostly, I just really LOVE the tune. Maybe it is because I am reliving my 80’s favorites lately and he reminds me so much of Freddy Mercury but I have been humming it obsessively this week. Since I hate to be alone in my neurosis most of the time I thought I would firmly implant “Grace Kelly” into your brain as well.you’re welcome.

Imagine my suprise at being “Tagged” today by my blogger friend Babychaos I gather that first I post the rules so here they are for the uninitiated:

RULES

Post the rules first.
If you are tagged you have to tell your faithful blogging public 8 random facts about yourself in a post on your blog. It can be habits, an idea, facts or whatever comes to you.
At the end of your post, choose eight other bloggers you’d like to know something about and tag them.
Leave a comment telling them you’ve tagged them and that they will need to read your post on your blog.

I guess it’s like Truth or Dare for grown ups…

Without further ado, 8 random things about Mrs Metaphor:

1) I do not like creepy crawlish things, especially venomous ones…now this is a pretty common thing but add to it that I NOW live in a heavily wooded and remote location in rural Tennessee and so far I have run across Copperhead snakes and Black Widow spiders alive and in person this year on the property. Nothin like seeing those suckers in all their glory. God help us.

2) I do not like to meet new people. I’m a rabid introvert that craves attention and solitude all at the same time…thank you Meyers Briggs. Once I meet new people I’m delightful but getting there…not so fun.

3) I still wish I was a rock star. Maybe someday…

4) I’m turning 40 on September 25th. I think I’m doing pretty well with it. I am most looking forward to being 80. You can say and do whatever you want when you are 80. I think I’ll be awesome by then.

5) The famous person I’d like most to meet is Jimmy Carter…I love that guy. Kate Bush runs a close second although I’m sure I’d break into a bad rendition of “Babooshka” and ruin the whole thing.

6) This is harder than I thought it would be.

7) When I was young and took piano lessons I took them from an old nun, Sister Basil (not even making this up) who had stacks of comic books in her office. My brother and I loved to read those until we realized that she must have confiscated them from students. Sort of soured us on the whole thing, well, that and the fact that she was rather cranky. So we used to hide in the bushes by our house around the time we needed to go to lessons and pray for tornado warnings. When we switched teachers some years later, our new teacher looked just like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror Picture Show, only it was a woman. eek.

8.) I started this blog in a feeble attempt to create a character who only spoke in metaphors (hence, the name…) but sometimes speaking in metaphors causes annoyance instead of contemplation, trees rustling in the wind sometimes drop pinecones on your head and that’s no damn fun. So in an attempt to stem the tide of disintegration between the many selves of me I will now begin to write in simile too…maybe haiku…

Ok…now, the moment you have all been waiting for (pardon my dangling participle.) The bloggers I’d most like to hear 8 things about are:
flibbityfluent, klbjournal, mr. lipuma, sleepyurbanite, popchef, joy, gregg, liberty (who makes fabulous things…check it out!)
Is that 8? I told you I hate to meet people…

A friend turned me on to this site tonight so I could “rate” my blog. I really expected to get “G” frankly but apparently I spend a lot of time talking about “death” “hurt” and “pain.” I feel so misunderstood and we all know how much I hate that.

Our car died a day before I was supposed to take a trip to visit my family. “Died” is a strong word I guess, I should say my car had some kind of terrible attack the day before my trip so while it convalesced at the auto spa I drove a rental with Michigan plates.

I drove a minivan with Michigan plates from TN to Ohio. I do not normally drive a minivan. We have done well, even with 4 children in tow to avoid the minivan phase. We’ve also managed to avoid having any and all references to Barney, the purple dinosaur banned in our house. I feel pretty good about that.

Not only did I drive the minivan, I drove it poorly to boot. After driving a ‘96 Suburban for the last 10 years the little snub nose family car of choice was like driving a sports car. That coupled with my stress of “getting there” in one mental and emotional piece, since I was driving on my own with the four children mentioned above, I admit I made some tactical errors. I drove too fast, cut off too many people, nearly ran a red light…the list is somewhat embarassing to continue to disclose to be honest. I do not truly know what came over me and all this before I even got out of Tennessee.

Then, it dawned on me…those Michigan plates…it’s possible all of the people I had just pissed off might actually think I’m from Michigan. I know that I do it. Someone drives erratically and I look at the plate, “Oh, city people” I think…or “Oh, Texas…hmrumph…” I began to wonder what kind of picture people had gotten of me, this half crazed mother in her minivan, children bickering, hair and glasses askew, driving like a maniac, Michigan plates. “Go back to Michigan,” I imagine them shouting at me through their closed windows, fists pounding the steering wheel to punctuate the sentiment.

I’ve been to Michigan, know a number of people from Michigan. Nice place, nice people, decent drivers. I felt horribly guilty for smearing their good name and at the same time I had a strange sense of freedom, anonymity if you will and then I rounded it out with feeling shame for driving so very badly and hiding behind my Michigan plates.

Day in and day out people are going to form opinions about who I am based upon information they gather about me; my driving, my car, my behavior, my clothes, my children, my words…sometimes their perception is off, sometimes it is right on the money. I would like to think that what I leave behind me on the road though is not quite the impression I left that day driving with Michigan plates but I’m working on it.

Sorry, Michigan.