I like my blog friends because they really know where it’s at. I am most recently introduced to Duke Special on my friend Steve’s blog so I thought I’d take a moment to pass this goodness along. As you all ALREADY know…I have a penchant for the odd so bear that in mind. Duke Special is a rather accessible odd, I hope you’ll agree.
My, that was a provocative title, wasn’t it? It could have been moreso but then it would not have actually fit the post itself and that’s just no good.
Words of affirmation take me far. I already know that about me. I have this remarkable ability to take it in, digest it well and let the nutrients which lie therein sink into my pores just well enough to nourish the soul and then I have this other remarkable ability to inject poison into the same vein right after.
I wonder what that is…a feeble attempt at humility? A return to an old recorded message that tells me that there is no line between being confident and being egotistical? A misread verse which proclaims that I need to make sure I do not think too highly of myself? I dunno. I just realize here in the midst of my midlife crisis that external soul food only satisfies for a short time and then I’m left with the me I see every day in the mirror.
Remember that feeling of falling in love? Maybe you are fortunate enough to be there right now with someone. The fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach. The lightheadedness that comes when they speak something rare and beautiful. The anticipation of seeing them somewhere. The agony of waiting for whatever is next. Remember that? I want that. I want that with me, though. I’m not sure I’ve ever fallen in love with me. I’m not sure that is sanctioned but I feel certain that there must be a place for it.
I believe that all things have this connectedness. What we feel in the body we feel in the spirit. What we experience in the spirit shows in our body. I just think this is true. This feeling of falling in love, perhaps science would tell us that it’s just a biological mechanism that gets us to procreate and not kill our partners straight after but since I believe in a benevolent and magnificent Creator God I must differ there.
I think this falling in love feeling has more to it and I think it fits not JUST with life partners but also with our selves and in turn with our magnificent Creator God. I just think that must be true.
I admit, there are holes in my theory. I’m not a scientist or a theologian or even as big a brained person as many of my friends but there are things I know without knowing…understand without understanding…and this is one of them.
I’m not sure where all of this leads but today I am left with the word, “discovery.” It’s a place to begin this process of falling in love and perhaps a good place to end this post today. Each time we discover something about another person or in this case, ourselves, something which pulls us in…which feeds us…which tethers us tenderly then we start the process of falling in love. So, that is the thought I’ll leave you with today. Take a moment to see what you can discover. I’ll do the same.
When I was in college I got into Kate Bush very big-like. I had a friend in the dorm who opened my eyes to a whole lot of “alternative” music I had not accessed before. On a whim, I walked into the college radio station one day (WWSU, “Dayton’s New Music Alternative” doncha know….) in my black leather miniskirt and lime green thrift store men’s shirt and paisley vest and asked who was in charge. Luckily, I amused the music director enough to earn me a spot in their On Air program and that changed me completely. I now had an entire radio station’s music library at my fingertips. It was cool. Really cool.
Although my listeners, I think, enjoyed my show it was probably equally annoying that I opened and closed each one with Kate Bush. Most people just don’t “get” Kate. That’s alright with me.
Since this is my blog though and I make you suffer my poetry…I’m going to make you suffer my Kate too. Suck it up. She has amazing things to say and a vocal range that would make most singers cry and give it all up. This is one of my favorites and happily, there is also a video.
The song is Suspended in Gaffa and it was originally included on her album, The Dreaming in 1982.
Out in the garden
There’s half of a heaven,
And we’re only bluffing.
We’re not ones for busting through walls,
But they’ve told us
Unless we can prove
That we’re doing it,
We can’t have it all.
He’s gonna wangle
A way to get out of it.
She’s an excuse
And a witness who’ll talk when he’s called.
But they’ve told us
Unless we can prove
That we’re doing it,
We can’t have it all.
We can’t have it all.
“I caught a glimpse of a god, all shining and bright.”
Suddenly my feet are feet of mud.
It all goes slo-mo.
I don’t know why I’m crying.
Am I suspended in Gaffa?
Not until I’m ready for you,
Not until I’m ready for you
Can I have it all.
I try to get nearer,
But as it gets clearer
There’s something appears in the way,
It’s a plank in me eye,
With a camel
Who’s trying to get through it,
Am I doing it?
Can I have it all now?
I pull out the plank and say
“Thank you for yanking me back
To the fact that there’s
Always something to distract.”
But sometimes it’s hard
To know if I’m doing it right.
Can I have it all?
Can I have it all now?
We can’t have it all.
“We all have a dream…maybe.”
Suddenly my feet are feet of mud.
It all goes slo-mo.
I don’t know why I’m crying.
Am I suspended in Gaffa?
Not until I’m ready for you,
Not until I’m ready for you
Can I have it all.
I won’t open boxes
That I am told not to.
I’m not a Pandora.
I’m much more like
That girl in the mirror.
Between you and me
She don’t stand a chance of getting anywhere at all.
Not anywhere at all.
No, not a thing.
She can’t have it all.
“Mother, where are the angels? I’m scared of the changes.”
Suddenly my feet are feet of mud.
It all goes slo-mo.
I don’t know why I’m crying.
Am I suspended in Gaffa?
Not until I’m ready for you,
Not until I’m ready for you
Can I have it all.
Not only is Mrs Metaphor good for a chuckle on a windy day or deep trains of thought careening into tunnels built through mountains but now she can (in addition to referring to herself in third person) inform you exciting events affecting your planet.
Behold, the Lunar Eclipse beginning this evening in the US, February 20th. I’ve cut and pasted this blurb from the Facebook “group” page for this event:
A Lunar Eclipse takes place at a Full Moon when the Moon moves into the shadow of the Earth cast by the Sun. This takes place at the same instant for all observers, but the LOCAL time on the clock depends on your time zone!
In North America (Canada & the US), the Total Eclipse takes place during:
Newfoundland ~ 11:30 p.m. - 12:21 a.m.
Atlantic ~ 11:00 - 11:51 p.m.
Eastern ~ 10:00 - 10:51 p.m.
Central ~ 9:00 - 9:51 p.m.
Mountain ~ 8:00 - 8:51 p.m.
Pacific ~ 7:00 - 7:51 p.m.
MEXICO, Central America and the Caribbean include all time zones listed above, so if you’re not sure which time zone you’re in, just keep your eyes on the skies from 7pm until midnight!
South American time zones range from UTC (GMT) -5 to -3, so the time will be from 10pm until 1am.
In Europe and Africa ~ 3:00 a.m. - 3:51 a.m. UTC (GMT) in the early morning of February 21
Look 1 hour 20 minutes before and after to see the partial phases. In Western regions, the Moon may rise partially eclipsed.
You don’t have to go to any special place to see the eclipse, as long as you can see the Moon from where you are: front porch, backyard, walking down the street.To the left of the Moon you will see the planet Saturn.
It may help to look for the Moon on the night before, so you know roughly what part of the sky to look in. On eclipse night, the Moon will be further East and a little lower in the sky, compared to the previous night. But don’t worry…a near-Full Moon is hard to miss, even in the city!
IS IT SAFE TO LOOK AT? SHOULD I BE WEARING PROTECTION?Not only can you view a Lunar Eclipse with the naked eye, it’s absolutely amazing when viewed through binoculars. Better yet, you should try watching it through a telescope. Incredible. THERE WON’T BE ANOTHER FOR ALMOST 3 YEARS, so you don’t want to miss it!3 years? BUT I JUST SAW ONE IN AUGUST!Yes, there was a Total Eclipse on August 28, 2007. Eclipses run in cycles, as the moon does. Although there will be a few partial eclipses over the next few years, the next Total Eclipse won’t be until December 21, 2010, when we will have 3 more Total Eclipses in a row over a 12 month period.
I got a very exciting note in the mail the other day. It was a save the date for the upcoming marriage of someone I like a whole lot but don’t know all that well. We call him Max but that’s not his actual name. We call him Max because it’s how he’s known in the musical world, “Maxel Toft.”
At any rate, Max is getting married and I was reminded of one of his songs in light of this. The song is “Half Full” and the CD is called, “Nixon.” This tune is from a series of projects he is doing which are, in his own words, “named and numbered according to past U.S. Presidents. Starting with Clinton and continuing in reverse order, Maxel Toft plans to make a recording for (but having nothing to do with) each President.”
The production was done by my very talented friend Andy Deitrich. A couple of other friends played on this CD as well, my beautiful friend, Jane with her beautiful voice and my tuba talented friend, Hans. I hope you’ll consider picking up a copy for yourself from CdBaby.
Suffice it to say that I am so delighted that my friend, Max no longer will walk through life Half Full.I hope you enjoy this today…savor it well, it is an amazing song.
I wonder how much poetry I can post on this blog without completely driving my friends to drink. Let’s just see, shall we?
I wrote this a few weeks ago after a low slung full moon captured me and just past that I had an online conversation with some artist types. Mainly, I think what we were discussing was “what is art?” So, in light of this…I put this group of words to paper…
My Lenten task this year is becoming more and more refined as I walk through each day. My sacrifice this season is to “choose the good.” You might say at first blush, “Well gee, Mrs M…that’s no sacrifice!” but you would be wrong, my friend. It does feel like a loss to let go of a way of behaving that I’ve grown accustomed to…quite a lot it seems. It has not been easy to give up these little battles without the usual fight or retreat into fantasy brain land. It’s hard to explain but just trust me, it’s not easy and it is a sacrifice. You do trust me, don’t you?Don’t answer that (unless it’s “YES”)
This is the moment though I wanted to put out there to you today. Observe Miles, my youngest…
It’s hard to tell from this picture but he was in character…as he is often. He decided today that he would smear pancake syrup on both of his hands and perhaps his face for this character. He was the “Silver Surfer” from the Fantastic Four. When he tried to leave my kitchen obviously I started in with the mama hissy fit and wiped his hands and face. He had a meltdown. He was shouting and crying and I was about to shout, myself….as I am apt to do.
In that moment though, here’s the thing, I decided to choose the good.
In this case I felt the “good” was not to go Dictator-ville on the guy. He was in character and I was ruining his character. Yes, I’m the mama and I’m in charge of cleaning up the syrup hand prints around the house and yet, I kept thinking…choose the good, choose the good…and I chose to engage rather than enrage. (Like that? It’s copyrighted by me but you can use it if you want.)
You see I have these choices that I didn’t really see before. I had thought until, um, last week, that it was my JOB to be the killjoy. I had thought that imposing my iron will in my typical Bohemian Dictator style was just what the Dr. Phil ordered but alas, it’s never been a terribly good fit for us as a family.
In taking a minute to pause and consider the “good” I realized that all I really needed to do just then was engage him…so I did. I put down whatever I was doing and first smeared his hands with syrup again to get us to the peace table. Then I sat down next to him and said, “So tell me about your life here, man…what do you need?” and he began to tell me the story of his “character” and why it was important for the character to have sticky hands. Truthfully, I still don’t get why he has to have sticky hands but that’s beside the point. The point is that he was calm (albeit sticky) and I was calm (and actually amused) and we were having a little moment right there.
When we were done talking I said, “So, you know…you can do this in the kitchen but no sticky syrup hands anywhere else, right?” and he agreed. It took him about three minutes of playing and then he asked me to wash his hands and face off…so I did. And that was that.
I’m generally of the belief in the childrearing part of my life that everything works once and for about 5 minutes at a time and then next time it’s like a totally different television show so I don’t delude myself into thinking that what I’ve got here is a magic bullet. What I do have here though is a really nice moment and I treasure those, I gather those up and hold them close in me. Hopefully that is like a little emotional vitamin to help fortify me for the next time.
I need a lot of these but I’ll take them one at a time.
My friend Dina sent this video to me on Facebook today. I was very moved by it for a whole lot of reasons so I thought I’d put it on up here and let it move you guys as well.It’s comforting that Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová can say, “we’ve still got time” and I soak it up like a parched plant receiving that first water after a drought. I hope it does the same for you this weekend.
I really do. All I need is to convince everyone else to go along with my crazy plan and it’ll all be perfect.
How many stream of consciousness canoe trips can I organize in blogland without becoming annoying? I don’t know…but here’s another one. I’m a slave to the blog muse so here goes:
Staying at a friend’s house this week I am realizing just how ungifted I am at say, domestic things. I don’t clean well…meaning that I don’t find the time, energy or motivation to care enough about cleaning to make a real and noticeable dent in the grime. It’s not horrid at my house, it’s not squalor (I don’t think it is…at least) but I visit a friend’s house and I see the difference. Now, this…in and of itself is fine. I don’t mind being different, I don’t feel “less than” because of my domestic style. What makes it NOT fine is that I actually like her house this way. I want MY house to be this way. I just don’t really want to do it myself.
This got me to thinking about the other things that I’d love to see done differently. My homeschool approach is way different from my friends’ approaches. I like the way they impose order into their days and their lives. I have TRIED this but alas, I’m more gifted at chaos than order. Again, in the moment I like this chaos but then when I visit the order it looks so nice, so sweet, so restful. I’d like that, I just don’t want to give up my penchant for chaos in trade.
I like some of my friends’ churches. The are very fun to visit. I’d like my church to have some of these elements but I’m not sure I want to be the one to lobby for them. Ack, I sound like a church consumer…I don’t like that….let me think on that one a little longer.
It would be nice to have a job. I KNOW, I know…I HAVE a job…wife, mother, teacher, trainer, fitness guru, writer, artist…blah blah blah. Once in a great while I’d like to have a sit at a cubicle job….paper in this drawer, pencils over here, paycheck at the end of the week. I just don’t want to have it forever….maybe for like 10 days.
All this to say that I think I have it all worked out. I think what we need is a commune. This way I can get the benefit of all my friends’ giftedness in one place at one time. Then at the end of the day we can all retreat to our own home/apartment whatever and do our thing. I tell people often that what I like about my friends is that they seem to dent in where I dent out…we fill in the gaps for one another so why would it be so hard to just gather us all together and fill in the gaps all the time? Come on…doesn’t this seem like a great plan of mine? I’ll lead your families into artistic and metaphoric chaos and then you can all use your giftedness to get us out of that mess.
Erm…okay, well, maybe the marketing needs some work.
