dig deeper…

August 30, 2009 at 7:07 am (Ordinary Time, expanding your view, random musings)
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So much is like life, so much is metaphor if we decide to apply it as such. You know me, I can’t seem to help myself when I run across a situation that feels as though it applies to a broader truth, I have to post it. It’s my inner exhibitionist getting it’s say.

I’d planted this one little flower bed near the corner of my back deck this spring mostly as an attempt to dress it up a little. It’s as close to “curb appeal” as we get out here as we try to sell the house. I took great pride when the sunflowers came up, when the rosemary thrived, when the little bunch of astilbe came to life and threatened a hostile takeover of the garden. There was this one spot, however. This one little spot in which nothing could take root.

Lavender was first to suffer it’s ills. I blamed it on the lavender. It’s finicky, I’m told. I put a small rosemary plant there next. It too yellowed and died. Next was a hibiscus of some kind or another. The flowers dropped almost immediately.

Each time I put something new in that spot I noticed the soil was a little mushy underneath, as if there was some space there, something deeper which required more digging to solve…but I didn’t go there.

I was busy, I was distracted. I had a pretty good little flower bed there, except for that spot. I was content with the status quo. It was good enough. It was adequate for my needs.

I didn’t dig deeper. I didn’t want to. I guess I still don’t.

I have a sense that it’s an animal burrow. I’d need to take some steps to root it out and fill it in and put in deterrents for the critter to reroute…but I just don’t want to do that…right now.

So now the spot is empty. Nothing lives in that spot.

What this brought to my mind was the inner picture of my own life. What do I have, deep inside me, that needs rooting out, exploration, filling in with good soil?

We all have these issues, these deep difficulties, we have yet to face. It is important to face them, I admit…it is more important, though, to choose our moment. Until I am no longer content to have that dead spot in my garden I simply will NOT do the work required to bring it back to health.

When that day comes I will dig deeper and I will both relish and loathe the work required. In the end, what flowers there will bring joy because I’ll know what it took to bring it into being.

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how did we get here?

August 20, 2009 at 3:54 pm (Politics-ish, Radical Thoughts, Social Commentary, expanding your view)

I’m reminded of a Talking Heads song today thinking about the conversations I’ve had and read about and heard about from friends around Healthcare Reform in this country. I can’t remember the last time discussions involved this much fear and misinformation…oh, yes I do…the election.

At the end of the day where the election was concerned I just stopped speaking my opinion. I felt confident my candidate was 1)the man for the job and 2)would get the job…and Yes He Did.

My leaning right now is to do the same thing…walk away from discourse about Healthcare Reform. Not because 1)I think I’m right and 2)I think I’ll win…because frankly, I don’t think either of those things. I go into discussions wanting to hear good points, good research, good discourse. Somewhere along the lines though, when statements like, “This is just like what the Nazis did” come into the exchange I take issue.

Seriously? Really??

I don’t want to come across as naive…I GET the way the world has cycled through the scary stuff. I’ve puzzled about how in the freakin world Adolf Hitler could have possibly gotten away with killing (at least) 6 million Jews…how the people of that country could not have seen that coming. I get it. I do.

In light of having had those thoughts though, still, that’s just crazy talk. It just is, I’m sorry. It just is. I’ve read the passages that people point to and hem and haw and titter and gasp. I’m NOT seeing it there, folks…and I’m not stupid.

I don’t want to spend time arguing that point in discussions about Healthcare Reform. I’m with Barney Frank on that. And after having had several discussions that all go that way I have the desire to walk away from all discussion about it…just avoid it completely and spare myself the emotional handsprings required to even walk away friends with these people.

But, you know…here’s the thing. We can’t do that. We CANNOT stop having the discussions. We CANNOT stop offering grace in those moments and TRYING to move the conversation back to reality. I need affordable healthcare people. I do and I know an awful lot of people who do. This conversation needs to continue to happen whether the House bill is the one to pass or not. For the record, I’m not crazy about the House bill as it stands right now either, believe me…and yet we need to agree as a people that this is an important piece to keep on the table.

If you’re feeling apathetic about the discussion please do not give in to the temptation to walk away. Do this, though…engage in the practice of listening, of hearing…engage in the practice of offering grace….engage in the practice of calm in the face of the stormy topics and read, research, gain understanding from places of wisdom, not fear.

This is important. Unclench your hands from around your side of the issue and put it on the table….

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yeah, riiiiiiiiiight…

August 11, 2009 at 1:52 pm (Uncategorized)

Today I’m moved to write about the practice of sarcasm. It’s come to me for a lot of reasons, frankly most of them have to do with Facebook “status updates” from friends of mine with whom I disagree on a political level. I suppose I’m as guilty as anyone using FB updates as my own personal platform to speak my mind and spew my brand of propaganda. I hope, though, that I’d never cause injury with those words. They are powerful, they are heard. “It’s just Facebook” some of you are saying, I’m sure. Yes, but it’s social media. There is a responsibility there for that I put into the world. It’s still social. It’s not my own personal private journal. It’s not my livingroom. It’s the world’s livingroom.

Specifically, though, the idea of trying to convey a “funny” sarcasm via FB update is a little ridiculous. Take for example, Jon Stewart. Ok, I confess I LOVE Jon Stewart. The man is a freakin comedic genius. What makes his humor work is that the sarcasm and irony he puts out there is wrapped solidly in his vocal inflection and the look on his face. Written down as a status update from someone other than Jon Stewart?? Not so much. It just reads as sour grapes to me. I might be cranky about this. I’m willing to own that possibility.

Ask yourself this though before you indulge in sarcasm through social media, is this sort of speech (as defined below) the kind of thing you want to bring into the world?

-witty language used to convey insults or scorn -It comes from the ancient Greek σαρκάζω (sarkazo) meaning ‘to tear flesh’ -A form of humor that is marked by mocking with irony, sometimes conveyed in speech with vocal over-emphasis. -Saying something that is opposite of what is intended to be meant; expressing or expressive of ridicule that wounds

Do I REALLY want to “tear flesh” with my words?? I dunno….seems out of line with my profession of faith somehow.

That being said, I love that Jon Stewart to the ends of the earth…I don’t mean to say that I’ll never be sarcastic again or that there won’t be a moment where I’ll find gold in a sarcastic comment. I’m just thinking more about how I speak, where I find humor, what I do and say that causes injury without ever realizing it. I never pretend to have the answers, just good jump off spots for cliff diving questions.

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bosom friend…

August 2, 2009 at 2:50 pm (Ordinary Time, random musings, things you never knew about mrs metaphor)

Anne tipped the vase of apple blossoms near enough to bestow a soft kiss on a pink-cupped bud, and then studied diligently for some moments longer.
“Marilla,” she demanded presently, “do you think that I shall ever have a bosom friend in Avonlea?’

“A–what kind of friend?”

“A bosom friend–an intimate friend, you know–a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I’ve dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will too. Do you think it’s possible?’

“Diana Barry lives at Orchard Slope and she’s about your age.”

– Anne of Green Gables

When we first moved out here to the wilderness that is Leiper’s Fork we were coming from the big streets of Chicago. The picture that greeted us on that fall day was straight out of a book Riley and I had just finished reading together, “Anne of Green Gables.” We both marveled at the canopy of trees which greeted us as we drove up the road to our new house. Riley asked me at the time the same thing at Anne asked Marilla…if I thought she would have a bosom friend here in the country. I remarked that I hoped she might.

It’s strange but she actually has been lucky enough to find a couple of bosom friends since we’ve been here but they both live at least 30 minutes away. One friend in particular really is a girl cut from the same cloth as Riley. This summer Riley and Dory have been spending a great deal of time together, taking 2 or 3 night sleepovers at each other’s houses….stuff childhood memories are built on and measured against…it makes my heart expand each time I see them together.

I’m reminded though of when I was a kid, spending 2 or 3 nights at my favorite cousin’s house during the summer or vice versa. I remember how perplexed I was when my mother would insist I come home finally or that Susan go home to her house. I couldn’t figure it out. I knew she loved our friendship.

Now, I think I finally know what that was all about. I know that while the days seem endless to a child of 10 or 11 they fly quickly to a 40 year old. I don’t begrudge my sweet daughter her bosom friend and I love that she has her friend. I know now that my mother did not begrudge my bosom friends either…it’s just that our time with our children is so very limited. I see now, how conflicted my mother must have been, fighting for time with me when I only had eyes for my friends and my dreams.

How wise time makes us when we are willing to think back and look forward too.

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