October 29, 2009 at 9:19 pm (Uncategorized)
A friend of mine made a joke at my expense today. It cut right through me.
You know, I think I must be maturing. I mean this in a good way, not in a “nice way to say getting OLD” sort of way. I mean to say that when he made that joke I realized what a hurtful thing that was for me. It bothered me because it was insensitive, because he’s known me an awfully long time and truthfully, he really ought to know better by now. The part about me maturing though is that I recognized that fact. Now, I didn’t take him to task for it and honestly I don’t intend to be rude or ignorant back to him. You see, I’ve known him an awfully long time as well and I know things are rough for him right now. It’s easy for me to offer grace and easy for me to remember that this is the way his sense of humor runs at times like this.
But here’s the thing…I realized today how often I make off-handed remarks to people, how often I say things without thinking, how often I say hurtful things couched as humor. Because I hope I’m maturing and not just getting overly sensitive as I increase in years I want to make this vow to stop making jokes at the expense of my friends. You know, I’d like to stop making jokes at the expense of people who are NOT my friends as a matter of fact….but sadly, I don’t know if I’ve matured that far yet.
I’ll get there. I want to get there.
This is, at least, a place to start.
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October 13, 2009 at 11:12 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: doxasoma, integration, keeping up
In an attempt to integrate the pieces of myself that I tend to leave scattered all over my little particle point of the web I will be cross posting from my DoxaSoma blog as time goes on as well…just so you know.
As schizophrenic as the various “web presences” can feel to me at times it does still serve me to keep my works in different places so this solves that interim discomfort of keeping things updated on a regular basis…so there’s that.
thank you for your kind consideration. 
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October 5, 2009 at 10:59 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: bible verse band-aids, God, healing
I hate when people throw band-aids at me for gaping wounds. I especially hate, no, I abhor in fact, when people throw scripture verse band-aids.
When I’m bleeding I want to feel my faith rush upon me even as it seems to ebb away. I want to feel God’s hands on me, cleaning and binding the wound…I do. I rely upon it. Having someone throw a bible verse at me though never seems to bring that feeling my way. It trivializes the words there…tells me I need to sit down and shut up…tells me I’m wrong to bleed when I’ve been slashed with a knife. It tells me that this person has no idea how to minister to my injuries.
A wise friend once demonstrated to me the best parenting bit ever. When her child fell down and started to bleed my friend went to her. Put her hands upon her gently, cleaned the wound as the child cried and the friend said very simply and lovingly, “Oh yes, I know this hurts. I’m so sorry you’re hurt.”
Her words and actions here don’t stop the bleeding, they start the healing. Acknowledging the hurt is the beginning of healing. My friend easily could have said what so many parents have been saying for years, “You’re not really hurt.” “That’s not a big wound.” “You’re ok.” “Just stand up and walk it off.” “Stop complaining.”
The thing that bugs me about my pain and being thrown a verse though is deeper than that…it’s “Stop complaining…God said so.” I don’t know that version of God. In fact, I believe better, the God I know is the one who FIRST rushes to me, puts His arms around me and whispers, “Oh, yes…I know this hurts. I’m so sorry you’re hurt…” and then begins the cleaning of the wound…because the healing doesn’t begin with the band-aid, it begins with the embrace.
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metaphor
from the Latin. metaphora, 
