Mrs Metaphor

I love my Aunt Barb…she sends me things like this all the time. Here’s a hint, put it in “manic” mode for hours of fun.

Stress Relief

I confess that I think one of my blogger friends may have posted this in the past but in my parenting stupor I just cannot rightly recall…so Aunt Barb gets the credit.  

This is for my Star Wars lovin’ friends and fans….you know who you are: 

I’m trying to space ‘em out…I really am. This one goes along with my strong desire for a Magic 8 Ball from God.

fortune telling fish

My Lenten task this year is becoming more and more refined as I walk through each day. My sacrifice this season is to “choose the good.” You might say at first blush, “Well gee, Mrs M…that’s no sacrifice!” but you would be wrong, my friend. It does feel like a loss to let go of a way of behaving that I’ve grown accustomed to…quite a lot it seems. It has not been easy to give up these little battles without the usual fight or retreat into fantasy brain land. It’s hard to explain but just trust me, it’s not easy and it is a sacrifice. You do trust me, don’t you?Don’t answer that (unless it’s “YES”)

This is the moment though I wanted to put out there to you today. Observe Miles, my youngest…

It’s hard to tell from this picture but he was in character…as he is often. He decided today that he would smear pancake syrup on both of his hands and perhaps his face for this character. He was the “Silver Surfer” from the Fantastic Four. When he tried to leave my kitchen obviously I started in with the mama hissy fit and wiped his hands and face. He had a meltdown. He was shouting and crying and I was about to shout, myself….as I am apt to do.

In that moment though, here’s the thing, I decided to choose the good.

In this case  I felt the “good” was not to go Dictator-ville on the guy. He was in character and I was ruining his character. Yes, I’m the mama and I’m in charge of cleaning up the syrup hand prints around the house and yet, I kept thinking…choose the good, choose the good…and I chose to engage rather than enrage. (Like that? It’s copyrighted by me but you can use it if you want.)

You see I have these choices that I didn’t really see before. I had thought until, um, last week, that it was my JOB to be the killjoy. I had thought that imposing my iron will in my typical Bohemian Dictator style was just what the Dr. Phil ordered but alas, it’s never been a terribly good fit for us as a family.

In taking a minute to pause and consider the “good” I realized that all I really needed to do just then was engage him…so I did. I put down whatever I was doing and first smeared his hands with syrup again to get us to the peace table. Then I sat down next to him and said, “So tell me about your life here, man…what do you need?” and he began to tell me the story of his “character” and why it was important for the character to have sticky hands. Truthfully, I still don’t get why he has to have sticky hands but that’s beside the point. The point is that he was calm (albeit sticky) and I was calm (and actually amused) and we were having a little moment right there.

When we were done talking I said, “So, you know…you can do this in the kitchen but no sticky syrup hands anywhere else, right?” and he agreed. It took him about three minutes of playing and then he asked me to wash his hands and face off…so I did. And that was that.

I’m generally of the belief in the childrearing part of my life that everything works once and for about 5 minutes at a time and then next time it’s like a totally different television show so I don’t delude myself into thinking that what I’ve got here is a magic bullet. What I do have here though is a really nice moment and I treasure those, I gather those up and hold them close in me. Hopefully that is like a little emotional vitamin to help fortify me for the next time.

I need a lot of these but I’ll take them one at a time.

Bear in mind that I basically avoided entering the conflict on this one because it was too good an exchange to not transcribe.  

I love the Flight of the Conchords and looking back on previous posts and comments made me itchin’ to see “Business Time” once again.  I thought I’d share that with you all today.  Don’t worry, I’ll get into posting about my continued apathy concerning our political system again soon.  It’s my very own election promise… but for now….it’s business time, yeah baby… 

til January 2nd, at least….it will SNOW on my blog.  For those of you in the more temperate climates it’s a little virtual winter treat.  Now all you need is the DVD of that crackling fire playing on your tv in the background to complete the effect.  You’re welcome.

I’ve been feeling blue lately…the stress of selling our house and not really knowing where we will live next I think has gotten to me a little this season of Joy and Peace.  My “sense of place” is all out of whack…I’m missing this piece and then missing the Peace that comes from that.   Today, talking to my therapist mom on the phone she told me about a funny thing she saw recently, “Christmas Carols for the Mentally Ill.”  Bear in mind, we are not making fun of mentally ill people….I know and love several mentally ill people…but I’m sorry, this made me laugh and I needed that at this moment so here it is for your enjoyment. I found this by Google on John Fry’s website.I think I’m allowed to say I like the one for ADHD the best…my DH is diagnosed and medicated for this disorder….

 Christmas Carols for the Mentally Ill

Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia — I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses

and Trucks and Trees and . ..

Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy, can I have chocolate, why is France so far away?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell …

This dedicated to my blog buddy Babychaos….enjoy

I say this a lot….in the gumby accent and rarely do people really “get” it. This is probably one of my favorite Monty Python sketches…alongside the Pet License sketch. Have a nice day: